Friday, April 1, 2011

I was looking for a purpose for my arsenic.


arsenic

"Now with FIVE nucleotide base pairs!

Everyone knows that a NASA funded research team claims to have found a bacterium (GFAJ-1) in Mono Lake, California, that when starved of phosphorus substitutes arsenic and continues thriving. Some folks say bunk, some folks wonder why astrobiologists are bothering to study things on Earth, and others just want to know what's in it for them.
Well, we now know what's in it for them, er...you. See, the arsenic chomping bacteria are cool, but what's even cooler are the Artemia monica found eating said bacteria. Duh, what? Artemia monica is the fancypants name for Sea Monkeys (specifically, those found in Mono Lake, California). And what's even cooler, by eating the GFAJ-1, the Sea Monkeys have also gained the ability to substitute arsenic for phosphorus. Promptly removing this new breed of Sea Monkey's eggs from the water instantly puts them into cryptobiosis (another fancypants word meaning, "suspended animation.") Because of this cryptobiosis and the fact that Sea Monkeys breed at an alarming rate, we have tons of eggs which we can now offer to all of you. That's right, you can get your very own Arsenic-Based Sea Monkeys today!
sea monkeys Straight from Mono Lake (just like GFAJ-1), these Arsenic-Based Sea Monkeys are 100% pure science and 100% fun, which means 200% awesome for you!
You get everything you need to grow your own: from the eggs to a neato habitat, and we also have an optional face mask with respirator! We've really pulled out all the stops with this kit. And of course you get some arsenic. Seriously, we couldn't call them Arsenic-Based Sea Monkeys and not give you some arsenic, right? Well, you get some, and you also get some stickers to decorate the included habitat with! Arsenic-Based Sea Monkeys are a great way for children to learn about the wonders of science and when not to put things in their mouths. Treat your Arsenic-Based Sea Monkeys well and if you're lucky (and have the right background music), you'll notice them mating and laying tons of Arsenic-Based Sea Monkey eggs for you to grow even more!
** Bonus ** Dr. Mindel's Family-Friendly Science Fact: Did you know that because of all the regicide committed with it, arsenic was once called the King of Poisons? It's true! So, that means Arsenic-Based Sea Monkeys are really Sea Monkey royalty! Bow down before them, pull on your protective suit (included in the Optional Safety Pack), and get ready to grow the most awesomest of the instant pets: Arsenic-Based Sea Monkeys.
Product Specifications
  • WARNING: Harmful or fatal if swallowed. Harmful if inhaled or absorbed through skin. May cause allergic skin reaction. May cause irritation to skin, eyes, and respiratory tract. Affects central nervous system.
  • PRECAUTIONS: Do not breathe vapor or mist. Use only with adequate ventilation. Wash thoroughly after handling.
  • Arsenic-Based Sea Monkeys Kit includes:
    • Sea Monkey habitat
    • Instant live eggs
    • Growth food
    • Feeding spoons
    • Magic portal magnifying lens
    • Beakers (3)
    • Petri dishes (6)
    • Agar jelly
    • Pipette
    • Pipette tips (3)
    • Arsenic (aka The King of Poisons!)
    • Full color illustrated instruction manual
    • Decorative habitat stickers
    • Instructional DVD, including directions for emergency situations
  • Dimercaprol (20 mg) tablets are included in case of accidental arsenic poisoning. Follow the dosing instructions based on your body weight. Do not take Dimercaprol if you are nursing, pregnant, or could become pregnant.
  • CAUTION: Do not tap on glass. Enraged Sea Monkeys can become extremely violent
  • REMEMBER: Dispose of all chemicals in a safe and environmentally friendly manner
  • COMING SOON: Lice - the Sea Monkeys for your head!
Optional Safety Pack Includes:
  • Protective suit (one size fits all)
  • Face mask with respirator
  • Chemical resistant gloves"
Found at ThinkGeek.

No comments:

Post a Comment